Yesterday afternoon I was having a rough day. Mutiple questions were swirling around in my head. Things like, "Will our adoption EVER end or will we be in this limbo forever?", "How will we ever get the funds for the rest of our adoption?", "Why were we chosen for this journey?", and many others like that. I know this is selfish, but it's hard adopting & "expecting" when no one knows it. When a woman is pregnant everyone is excited & knows she is expecting. For those of us adopting we are expecting too, but in our hearts not under them. People don't know you're adopting unless you tell them. Even people that know you are adopting don't get as excited as seeing a pregnant belly.
Another overwhelming thing about this adoption is the financial aspect. We need to raise about $11,000 more! Yikes! I do not know where that's gonna come from. It's definitley gonna be a God thing! Like I said, I know these thoughts & feelings are selfish & lack faith. I need to run to God & cling to His promises! I'm trying!
A dear friend, Terri, who has been through this process 2 times has been such an encouragement. She knew I was struggling yesterday & began praying for me & sending me messages of encouragement. My best friend Beth also noticed & told me she was praying for me, as well as my step-mom Jennifer. They were all pointing me in the right direction...Christ. I began praying & asking God to help me to not be selfish & to desire His will. I asked Him to please show me that He WAS going to provide. I know He loves us & will take care of us, but sometimes the financial part of this adoption is overwhelming! I needed Him to show me. And like I said, it's an emotional roller coaster. I've never been pregnant, but I imagine my hormones can go just as haywire right now! :)
More things pointing me in the right direction:
This morning's sermon was awesome. It was about the armor of God. How often do we put on the ENTIRE armor & not just the bits & pieces we "think" we need for the day? I want to put on my whole armor so I am ready for the doubts or anything else when they come. Also, when I was reading my Bible today I read, "for the battle is not yours, but God's" 2 Chronicles 20:15.
Another verse that I saw last night was Jer. 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I saw this from my sister-in-law, Dana. She wrote this verse in a scrapbook for her daughter for her graduation (my niece Britiany...wow I can't believe she's graduated!)! I need to have faith & KNOW without a doubt God is with us & is going to carry us through this entire adoption. He WILL provide. He answered my prayers through 3 different people (relating this back to the beginning of my post!). Those people were an answer to my prayers. God provided us with $600 to add to our adoption fund. Praise Jesus!
I hope that I continue to keep the faith. Please pray for Bill & I as we go through this adoption. God is going to do something MIGHTY! Beyond our expectations! I can't wait to see what it's gonna be!
PS-Sorry this was kind of all over the place! I'm so thankful for all of my blogger friends that listen/read & know exactly what I'm going through!
PSS-Please pray for a grant that we applied for. We should hear some news on that in the next several weeks!
1 comments:
I can totally relate to everything you are feeling. This is such a hard journey and people really do not realize how hard it is. I'm praying for you and Bill and I can't wait to see what God is going to do in the next few months!
Post a Comment